Well this is a first! two posts in a day! you can tell i'm bored out of my mind....
i've just found out a little news, you know how i said in my last post that i was giving up on Gareth? well my friend Bella gave me a little nugget today and here is what it was. basically her boyfriend was also at the party and he said that: on tuesday night when you left, gareth was like 'is it just me, or was (my name) reaaally hot?' and apparently he wouldn't shut up about it!'
I MEAN WHAT THE HELL!?! IM SO CONFUSED! so now i don't know what's going on anymore, this is a new one on me!
So i now have a decision. either i act on it or i don't.
basically, everyone 6th form goes to hangout outside tescos at lunch because as i go to an all girls school its the only time you get to meet guys so i can understand why they would and i know gareth's friends hangout there as well as some of my friends who are dating his friends so theoretically i could just go out and chill. BUT on monday lunchtime i mentor a year nine girl in english and she is a BAAAAAABE. and i can't really let her down because i don't want her to fail english exams.
HOWEVER, if i'm sneaky i could do our session really fast, or just tell her about gareth? i'm sure she'd understand because she's a saint. so i'm going to have to think on this....
and decide what to wear... just in case...
tragic.
Sunday, 30 October 2011
A Long Long Long Sunday Afternoon.
Today i have finally accepted that nothing is going to go on with Graham, i mean i struck up conversation with him over facebook on thursday and it was alright, a little slow but it did span over a few hours and it wasn't the generic conversation that sometimes happens so i thought maybe it would prompt more chats, but no deal.
you see, i have a guidelines when to tell if a guy is into you and when he's not (these rules apply when you've just met the guy the night before or something):
1.) he adds you on facebook, not the other way round. this is always a good sign because it shows that he's interest in you enough to want to have a stalk of your facebook also it shows he remembers you and your name which is always a bonus.
2.) he talks to you on facebook (as in he starts the conversation) and seems genuinely interested in having a conversation. this means he asks you questions and here is the big thing, if you don't reply to something he has said he'll say something else, it shows he wants to keep the conversation going and obviously that he wants to keep talking to you.
3) phone numbers, my experience has been mixed about phone numbers i don't think it matters who gives who but be sure if you are the one giving out your number there is a valid reason for doing so so make one up, the classic (but awful) one is: "hey i'm going now but i enjoyed our chat here's my number ....... maybe we can carry it on later?". it's so blatant but i know SO many girls (and guys) who have used it and i've seen it work, so trust okay?
4) see if he starts conversation with you in general, if you are the one always starting the conversation no matter how good it is, it could be that he's not into you, if you have a massive urge to talk to him make sure it's because you need to 'ask him something' or start off with a little in joke, start with a hi and make sure you get to your point, don't blaze in like HI HOW ARE YOU? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? HAHAHAHA OH YOU'RE SO FUNNY!!!! that's not subtle. at all.
5) if conversation is still not happened three days after the event, it's a no go, forget about it move on, fish in the sea all that shit.
these are a few of the many i have (it's just i can't remember them all), and i know it's lame but i tend to stick to them because i always get worried if i seem to keen so i'm a sorta 'hard to get' girl, in the least lame way possible. and it is because of the rules that i'm not going to follow up on Graham because, let's be honest, it was one night, it was fun, would i liked it to have gone somewhere? yes. did it? no. should i move on? yes, life's too short for a drunk boy at a party anyway. School's about to start again so i'll be getting back to having no social life and working so hard i think my brain is going to melt out of my ears.
tragic.
you see, i have a guidelines when to tell if a guy is into you and when he's not (these rules apply when you've just met the guy the night before or something):
1.) he adds you on facebook, not the other way round. this is always a good sign because it shows that he's interest in you enough to want to have a stalk of your facebook also it shows he remembers you and your name which is always a bonus.
2.) he talks to you on facebook (as in he starts the conversation) and seems genuinely interested in having a conversation. this means he asks you questions and here is the big thing, if you don't reply to something he has said he'll say something else, it shows he wants to keep the conversation going and obviously that he wants to keep talking to you.
3) phone numbers, my experience has been mixed about phone numbers i don't think it matters who gives who but be sure if you are the one giving out your number there is a valid reason for doing so so make one up, the classic (but awful) one is: "hey i'm going now but i enjoyed our chat here's my number ....... maybe we can carry it on later?". it's so blatant but i know SO many girls (and guys) who have used it and i've seen it work, so trust okay?
4) see if he starts conversation with you in general, if you are the one always starting the conversation no matter how good it is, it could be that he's not into you, if you have a massive urge to talk to him make sure it's because you need to 'ask him something' or start off with a little in joke, start with a hi and make sure you get to your point, don't blaze in like HI HOW ARE YOU? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? HAHAHAHA OH YOU'RE SO FUNNY!!!! that's not subtle. at all.
5) if conversation is still not happened three days after the event, it's a no go, forget about it move on, fish in the sea all that shit.
these are a few of the many i have (it's just i can't remember them all), and i know it's lame but i tend to stick to them because i always get worried if i seem to keen so i'm a sorta 'hard to get' girl, in the least lame way possible. and it is because of the rules that i'm not going to follow up on Graham because, let's be honest, it was one night, it was fun, would i liked it to have gone somewhere? yes. did it? no. should i move on? yes, life's too short for a drunk boy at a party anyway. School's about to start again so i'll be getting back to having no social life and working so hard i think my brain is going to melt out of my ears.
tragic.
Grinding, Sweating and Just Plain Vom.
So I went our to a club event yesterday with a few friends and I came to this conclusion: I really don't like them. And its not just this club because this is one of the better ones its clubbing in general, I really despise it. I'm going sound well nana saying this but the music is too loud, girls degrade themselves and people act like they can do whatever the fuck they like and ill explain each point in turn. The music. And I actually enjoy the type of music they play its just so loud, and usually that's fine but when you go to meet people its ridiculous because you can't talk unless you go inhale someone's second hand smoke outside which I won't lie, isn't the best way I would like to spend my evening. This leads me nicely into my next point. Because you can't actually speak to anyone everyone judges everyone else by appearance alone which means girls dress in THE most skimpy, grim little outfit they can by from primark in order to lure a male specimen. I mean there was this girl wandering around yesterday in a bra and skirt and let's just say it was no becoming in the slightest. grim I know, she's so going to regret that in the morning because im PRETTY SURE she entered with a top on. Anyway next point! Because of these slutty outfits guys just throw themselves into the girls and get with them, 'grind' with them, whatever. The point is i think its so manky! I mean why is it when there's alcohol, a hot, sweaty room and loud music people think that's acceptable? ill let you think... the answer is IT'S NEVER ACCEPTABLE! we're not at magaluf people! and its not just guys, girls do it too and its so grim! I just don't fit into places like that, I'm (lets be honest here) exactly 'fit' so I'm never going to have guys swarming me, and I don't appreciate having BO smelling, sticky guys rubbing their penis against my legs thank you very much! And don't get me wrong, I love a good party, but a HOUSE party, where you can have a CONVERSATION you know those crazy things! It means I can meet people and they can get past my less than average exterior and see the glowing personality underneath, cheesy shit I know, I'm brilliant at that bollocks. ANYWAY, I've decided to maybe give it one more go then maybe just stick to house parties. At least I can pick up guys at a house party...
Tragic.
(also sorry for the lack of formatting on my phone and I wrote this at work)
Tragic.
(also sorry for the lack of formatting on my phone and I wrote this at work)
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
Alcohol, Mayo, and P to D Ratio.
yesterday i was invited to a guy's house party who i met on friday and i was skeptical. i mean from the group on facebook there didn't seem like many people so i was worried, also the girl to boy ratio was all off, there looked like there was going to be ALOT OF GIRLS. well anyway me and my friends turned up at eight, fashionably late, there was only 5 people there.... uh oh, this is going to be crap. uh oh i don't know any of them. so we go put our bags upstairs and i glug down some of this dangerous mix of alcoholic cocktail which i invented before we left, lets just say i needed the courage. so we go back down and we socialise and i met a guy named Graham. he seemed nice, we talked about my deadly cocktail, had a bit of banter it was nice, and i felt something i've not felt in awhile, a FANCY. i actually thought he was pretty nice, he understood my humour and i didn't know where this would go but i quite enjoyed fancying him, even if it was going to be just for a night. and when more people started coming it got even nicer, everyone was lovely and the ratio leveled out! and i actually felt good for the first time in ages, i felt popular, i felt happy and i felt like people actually wanted to talk to me. so me and graham hung out together, i realised he knew people i did because he was at reading with them, and he even said he wished i had gone so that was a bonus. also had a cheeky stalk today (some of you might remember i am very pro facebook stalk, it's a beautiful thing) and it seems good.
ANYWAY sorry back to the party. so yeah, i was a good girl, i mingled, and chatted and flirted and generally had a really good time. and slowly, slowly graham started to make a move on me, which obviously i didn't reject. we had banter as we hid peoples' drinks for our on little stash and laughed and chatted then we ended up outside because he felt ill, i mean he had been drinking very heavily and then the next moment could have ever happened to me after we kissed the first time he turned around into the bush and vommed spectacularly, yummy. but bless him he apologised so many times in the space of a minutes so now i took on the role of carer. you know, the person who looks after the sick drunks and actually i didnt really mind, because i still quite liked him, is that lame? so we spent the rest of the time outside, in the cold on the wet grass and someone brought some water and bread and i sat with him because he didnt want me to leave, it was rather sweet really. we went back inside and he remained close and huggy and it was nice. BUT here is where my paranoid brain kicks in, i took him into the bathroom and he started being more distant again so maybe i was just a fling to him? and i decided fuck it, so i took his phone and put my number in, so it's all up to him really, but i don't think he'll text me really. but then at the same time he did add me on facebook and not the other way round? i don't know, i don't think anything will come of it but it's cool, as georgia would say: no regrets.
tragic.
ANYWAY sorry back to the party. so yeah, i was a good girl, i mingled, and chatted and flirted and generally had a really good time. and slowly, slowly graham started to make a move on me, which obviously i didn't reject. we had banter as we hid peoples' drinks for our on little stash and laughed and chatted then we ended up outside because he felt ill, i mean he had been drinking very heavily and then the next moment could have ever happened to me after we kissed the first time he turned around into the bush and vommed spectacularly, yummy. but bless him he apologised so many times in the space of a minutes so now i took on the role of carer. you know, the person who looks after the sick drunks and actually i didnt really mind, because i still quite liked him, is that lame? so we spent the rest of the time outside, in the cold on the wet grass and someone brought some water and bread and i sat with him because he didnt want me to leave, it was rather sweet really. we went back inside and he remained close and huggy and it was nice. BUT here is where my paranoid brain kicks in, i took him into the bathroom and he started being more distant again so maybe i was just a fling to him? and i decided fuck it, so i took his phone and put my number in, so it's all up to him really, but i don't think he'll text me really. but then at the same time he did add me on facebook and not the other way round? i don't know, i don't think anything will come of it but it's cool, as georgia would say: no regrets.
tragic.
Last Friday Night (yeah we took too many shot)
Well lookyhere guys! we're almost up to date, i thought this would never happen... I HAD SUCH A SHITTY NIGHT ON FRIDAY. after weeks and weeks of school, not going out because of work, crying over Aristotle's theory and common room bitching this party was meant to signal the start of a good half term, but it was anything but.
First off the guy who was having this thing was an angel, bless him he's so sweet so i felt bad that i knew everyone was going to trash his house because everyone knew about this party. EVERYONE.
So i go around to Sarah's before and we get ready with a few others, and we're all looking forward to a great night, fast forward to the train station. first of all, i have to pay for the train, granted it's only a pound fifty but if we'd sat down at the OTHER end of the train we would have avoided the ticket collect, but then again he was a saintly man and we all had a little chat with him so actually, it was worth it.
so get off the train and there's some guys we vaguely know getting a taxi but we decide to walk, as we are young, fit individuals.... half an hour later... we're completely lost. and in the dark. things arent looking up, but we eventually get there. and the first thing my friend Tara says (she's been there since the beginning) when i come in is "it's such a dickfest in here" and MY GOD WAS SHE TELLING THE TRUTH. there were so many people there and most of them were guys, and i dont know about you but the only thing i can't do at a party is mingle into a group of guys, if i know them it's fine or there's girls in the group i'm fine but these were large of group of unknown guys so i ended up chillin with some guys i know, for some reason i always chill with the guys never the girls, i dont know why it happens but it does. ANYWAY that's moving away from the point, so we all get kicked out by the police because of the noise at about 11, and this guy is having a asthma attack because he has smoked a lot of shit. what a twat. but me and a friend of mine sort him out and can i just say it was such a scary thing, his eyes were rolling back and he kept falling over, i won't lie, after the shock hit me i had a little cry, my drunken brain had told me he was going to die, maybe i was overreacting i dont know?
so the train gets to the station at ten past 12 so we head back and it's SO COLD, actually freezing, i'm not a happy bunny. and to top it all off some yob head throws a potato at me from his car. A POTATO. AN ACTUAL POTATO. it hit me so hard i thought i'd been shot and was going to die. and i had no idea where it had come from for awhile, i won't lie i did look to the sky, then at all the buildings but then i realised the it must have been from a car. and this wasnt a small potato, you know the type of potato you'd have roasted on a sunday, i mean this potato could have been a substantial meal for someone, needless to say, it hurt. and now i have a lovely purple bruise on my chest. so we get back to Sarah's and i just want to crash out and sleep, aching, cold and potato bruised and not a flirt insight.
tragic.
First off the guy who was having this thing was an angel, bless him he's so sweet so i felt bad that i knew everyone was going to trash his house because everyone knew about this party. EVERYONE.
So i go around to Sarah's before and we get ready with a few others, and we're all looking forward to a great night, fast forward to the train station. first of all, i have to pay for the train, granted it's only a pound fifty but if we'd sat down at the OTHER end of the train we would have avoided the ticket collect, but then again he was a saintly man and we all had a little chat with him so actually, it was worth it.
so get off the train and there's some guys we vaguely know getting a taxi but we decide to walk, as we are young, fit individuals.... half an hour later... we're completely lost. and in the dark. things arent looking up, but we eventually get there. and the first thing my friend Tara says (she's been there since the beginning) when i come in is "it's such a dickfest in here" and MY GOD WAS SHE TELLING THE TRUTH. there were so many people there and most of them were guys, and i dont know about you but the only thing i can't do at a party is mingle into a group of guys, if i know them it's fine or there's girls in the group i'm fine but these were large of group of unknown guys so i ended up chillin with some guys i know, for some reason i always chill with the guys never the girls, i dont know why it happens but it does. ANYWAY that's moving away from the point, so we all get kicked out by the police because of the noise at about 11, and this guy is having a asthma attack because he has smoked a lot of shit. what a twat. but me and a friend of mine sort him out and can i just say it was such a scary thing, his eyes were rolling back and he kept falling over, i won't lie, after the shock hit me i had a little cry, my drunken brain had told me he was going to die, maybe i was overreacting i dont know?
so the train gets to the station at ten past 12 so we head back and it's SO COLD, actually freezing, i'm not a happy bunny. and to top it all off some yob head throws a potato at me from his car. A POTATO. AN ACTUAL POTATO. it hit me so hard i thought i'd been shot and was going to die. and i had no idea where it had come from for awhile, i won't lie i did look to the sky, then at all the buildings but then i realised the it must have been from a car. and this wasnt a small potato, you know the type of potato you'd have roasted on a sunday, i mean this potato could have been a substantial meal for someone, needless to say, it hurt. and now i have a lovely purple bruise on my chest. so we get back to Sarah's and i just want to crash out and sleep, aching, cold and potato bruised and not a flirt insight.
tragic.
The Slag Stage Contin., WWII, September.
This is carrying on from the post below about the slag stage but this time it's about a little success of mine, i'm not a fail all the time! So my friend Georgia was invited to a friend of her's 18th and she gave her a plus one, so she invited me, before hand we went around to another girl's house to get ready into our costumes as the party was world war two themed which i actually thought was really cool . So we got there and WOAH. this hall was decorated so well! there was proper 40's singers and everyone was dressed up and it was SO nice! there really isn't anything to say about everything because as you know i usually moan about the shit parts of my life but there was nothing shit about it it was so much fun! the only thing i need to say i got off with a boy who i think is rather attractive and very camp and i didn't really fancy him but it was good nevertheless. and that is my summer sort of done NOW LETS MOVE ONTO MY PRESENT LIFE!
there's not really a lot of that really.
tragic.
(also feel free to leave me comments on what you'd like me to write about and also so i know there ARE people reading this... there probably isn't... tragic)
there's not really a lot of that really.
tragic.
(also feel free to leave me comments on what you'd like me to write about and also so i know there ARE people reading this... there probably isn't... tragic)
The Slag Stage, Prepubescent Boys, and Taxis.
SHIT I LOVE FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE'S NEW SONG IT MAKES MY WOMB ACHE WITH LOVE. sorry it just came one the radio and i had to get it out there. looking back that does sound rather creepy....ANYWAY
Again this is more events that occurred during the summer. Right i think everyone will agree with me once you break up with someone you do go through a slag stage, where you go out, kiss a load of boys and feel good again, it happens, no one should be ashamed of the slag stage, it's part of the natural world. well of course i went through the stage, and maybe i'm still sitting in the stage? i don't know we'll see how my life pans out. so during the summer i had two opportunities to work the slag stage, one went well, and one didn't.
So i got back from my holiday after a few flings with some spanish blokes which made me feel pretty again so it's all good. then i went to a club with my friends, and this is the bad night out. so me and my friends went to this place which we found out later is the 6TH WORST NIGHT CLUB IN EUROPE, i don't understand why we went. it was ridiculous. so we all got there a little pissed, got in and the smell of fags, BO, sweat and cheap body spray literally blew my hair back, it was so so so grim. this club is very small, very loud and full of chavy boys and large girls in skimpy outfits, not "happening" by an stretch of the imagination. i was wearing strappy heels, bad move. but i refused to take them off, i don't know what shit was on that floor, well i did, it was red bull, because that's all the can buy in this place so after a few hours lets not lie, no one was drunk, just hyper and that in my opinion is just lame. it also means that all the groppy, grindy boys were not drunk while they did these disgusting acts, foul, actually foul. some people looked like they were having sex they were grinding so graphically in front of us. nice, real nice.
so by half ten i just wanted to go home, but we had said we'd stick it out to the end (which was at one) and none of us were going to break that promise. so we were stuck in this hot, sweaty night club (which was so crowded some people couldn't get on and off the dance floor) and going outside was impossible as it was full of underage smokers under a thick fog of fag smoke, attractive i know. So let me sum it up for you, inside, the prospect of being felt up by some ugly prepubescence boy or passing out because of the heat, or going outside and increasing my chance of lung cancer, gross.
and you know what tops this all off? so when we finally leave, our taxi doesn't turn up. fucking brilliant.
and so we sat there with groups of scary chavs around us, and there were a few times where i thought it was the end for me and i was going to get raped or something like that.
so we have to phone for another and i get home at 3 in the morning, smelling of other peoples sweat, red blocks of pain as my feet and tired as hell. bed was so necessary. what a shitty night.
tragic.
Again this is more events that occurred during the summer. Right i think everyone will agree with me once you break up with someone you do go through a slag stage, where you go out, kiss a load of boys and feel good again, it happens, no one should be ashamed of the slag stage, it's part of the natural world. well of course i went through the stage, and maybe i'm still sitting in the stage? i don't know we'll see how my life pans out. so during the summer i had two opportunities to work the slag stage, one went well, and one didn't.
So i got back from my holiday after a few flings with some spanish blokes which made me feel pretty again so it's all good. then i went to a club with my friends, and this is the bad night out. so me and my friends went to this place which we found out later is the 6TH WORST NIGHT CLUB IN EUROPE, i don't understand why we went. it was ridiculous. so we all got there a little pissed, got in and the smell of fags, BO, sweat and cheap body spray literally blew my hair back, it was so so so grim. this club is very small, very loud and full of chavy boys and large girls in skimpy outfits, not "happening" by an stretch of the imagination. i was wearing strappy heels, bad move. but i refused to take them off, i don't know what shit was on that floor, well i did, it was red bull, because that's all the can buy in this place so after a few hours lets not lie, no one was drunk, just hyper and that in my opinion is just lame. it also means that all the groppy, grindy boys were not drunk while they did these disgusting acts, foul, actually foul. some people looked like they were having sex they were grinding so graphically in front of us. nice, real nice.
so by half ten i just wanted to go home, but we had said we'd stick it out to the end (which was at one) and none of us were going to break that promise. so we were stuck in this hot, sweaty night club (which was so crowded some people couldn't get on and off the dance floor) and going outside was impossible as it was full of underage smokers under a thick fog of fag smoke, attractive i know. So let me sum it up for you, inside, the prospect of being felt up by some ugly prepubescence boy or passing out because of the heat, or going outside and increasing my chance of lung cancer, gross.
and you know what tops this all off? so when we finally leave, our taxi doesn't turn up. fucking brilliant.
and so we sat there with groups of scary chavs around us, and there were a few times where i thought it was the end for me and i was going to get raped or something like that.
so we have to phone for another and i get home at 3 in the morning, smelling of other peoples sweat, red blocks of pain as my feet and tired as hell. bed was so necessary. what a shitty night.
tragic.
I'm A Convert.
Again, sorry for being slow with the posts I'm attempting to pick up the pace of the posts from now on. The title of the post has nothing to do with what I'm going to say other than I've changed my radio station. And for me, this is a big thing. Because I LOVE the radio, I wake up to it, I'd much rather listen to it then my ipod and for me it is a daily thing. For me radio 1 seemed a little so, so, i HATED fern cotton and thought it was a bit "charty" but i have to say, i have been a fool. it's great. chris moyles is great. and i am happy.
ANYWAY enough about radio banter i need to fill you in with my life from my last post. This should get us all up to date with my ridiculous life and then we can move on like we did before, a post every few days and dat.
OKAY, lets start with that blind date and work through this little scenario.
firstly, can i just say i feel really bad? because this boy is lovely, sweet, a bit of a lad, but completely not my type and i get so angry with myself because i just don't fancy him! it's not fair! stupid brain.
so it turned out that it wasn't a complete blind date, i was hanging out with Sarah and her boyfriend as this guy, his name is changing to Tom (i don't think i've used that name before?)
So he was a little quiet but that's only fair, we sat next to each other in the cinema and a little chat and he was very sweet actually, defiantly not one of the dicks i usually fancy. but the thing was, i knew, straight away, i didn't fancy him. sitting on the bus home i could have punched myself as i came to that conclusion, i mean SERIOUSLY?! what is wrong with me?! he started talking to me on facebook chat and casually gave me his number which in any other situation would have made me a very happy lady but, i didn't know how i felt. so that meant we started texting and bless him he made me a birthday card for my birthday, i mean, THIS GUY. what a saint.
So i thought, it test whether or not i liked him another meeting was necessarily so we met up in town to chill. and again it was fine, nothing happened, and thinking back i'm GLAD it didn't at least i can distance myself slowly without hurting him or anything because he is such a genuine guy and i feel like a right dickhead. i'm such a twat.
tragic.
ANYWAY enough about radio banter i need to fill you in with my life from my last post. This should get us all up to date with my ridiculous life and then we can move on like we did before, a post every few days and dat.
OKAY, lets start with that blind date and work through this little scenario.
firstly, can i just say i feel really bad? because this boy is lovely, sweet, a bit of a lad, but completely not my type and i get so angry with myself because i just don't fancy him! it's not fair! stupid brain.
so it turned out that it wasn't a complete blind date, i was hanging out with Sarah and her boyfriend as this guy, his name is changing to Tom (i don't think i've used that name before?)
So he was a little quiet but that's only fair, we sat next to each other in the cinema and a little chat and he was very sweet actually, defiantly not one of the dicks i usually fancy. but the thing was, i knew, straight away, i didn't fancy him. sitting on the bus home i could have punched myself as i came to that conclusion, i mean SERIOUSLY?! what is wrong with me?! he started talking to me on facebook chat and casually gave me his number which in any other situation would have made me a very happy lady but, i didn't know how i felt. so that meant we started texting and bless him he made me a birthday card for my birthday, i mean, THIS GUY. what a saint.
So i thought, it test whether or not i liked him another meeting was necessarily so we met up in town to chill. and again it was fine, nothing happened, and thinking back i'm GLAD it didn't at least i can distance myself slowly without hurting him or anything because he is such a genuine guy and i feel like a right dickhead. i'm such a twat.
tragic.
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