yesterday i was invited to a guy's house party who i met on friday and i was skeptical. i mean from the group on facebook there didn't seem like many people so i was worried, also the girl to boy ratio was all off, there looked like there was going to be ALOT OF GIRLS. well anyway me and my friends turned up at eight, fashionably late, there was only 5 people there.... uh oh, this is going to be crap. uh oh i don't know any of them. so we go put our bags upstairs and i glug down some of this dangerous mix of alcoholic cocktail which i invented before we left, lets just say i needed the courage. so we go back down and we socialise and i met a guy named Graham. he seemed nice, we talked about my deadly cocktail, had a bit of banter it was nice, and i felt something i've not felt in awhile, a FANCY. i actually thought he was pretty nice, he understood my humour and i didn't know where this would go but i quite enjoyed fancying him, even if it was going to be just for a night. and when more people started coming it got even nicer, everyone was lovely and the ratio leveled out! and i actually felt good for the first time in ages, i felt popular, i felt happy and i felt like people actually wanted to talk to me. so me and graham hung out together, i realised he knew people i did because he was at reading with them, and he even said he wished i had gone so that was a bonus. also had a cheeky stalk today (some of you might remember i am very pro facebook stalk, it's a beautiful thing) and it seems good.
ANYWAY sorry back to the party. so yeah, i was a good girl, i mingled, and chatted and flirted and generally had a really good time. and slowly, slowly graham started to make a move on me, which obviously i didn't reject. we had banter as we hid peoples' drinks for our on little stash and laughed and chatted then we ended up outside because he felt ill, i mean he had been drinking very heavily and then the next moment could have ever happened to me after we kissed the first time he turned around into the bush and vommed spectacularly, yummy. but bless him he apologised so many times in the space of a minutes so now i took on the role of carer. you know, the person who looks after the sick drunks and actually i didnt really mind, because i still quite liked him, is that lame? so we spent the rest of the time outside, in the cold on the wet grass and someone brought some water and bread and i sat with him because he didnt want me to leave, it was rather sweet really. we went back inside and he remained close and huggy and it was nice. BUT here is where my paranoid brain kicks in, i took him into the bathroom and he started being more distant again so maybe i was just a fling to him? and i decided fuck it, so i took his phone and put my number in, so it's all up to him really, but i don't think he'll text me really. but then at the same time he did add me on facebook and not the other way round? i don't know, i don't think anything will come of it but it's cool, as georgia would say: no regrets.
tragic.
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