I Don't Want Realism.

the title is a quote from the play a streetcar named desire, and it have relevance in my life, extreme relevance.
Bella's boyfriend (tangent here, Bella doesn't want to be called Bella anymore because she knows someone... i don't need to say anymore so i think she'll be called Beth) okay BETH'S boyfriend let me read his blog and he read this and he wrote a post which really appealed to me.
it was all about monotony, how life turns into a cycle of the same events, then at the weekend the cycle changes but it's still a boring cycle never the less. and it made me think; at the moment this is my life. weekdays: struggle through school while working on my audition pieces and trying to not let my social life slip through my fingers. it goes as follows, wake up, get on the bus, turn up late for school, work at school, get home, snack, sit on twitter and facebook, eat, watch TV, go to bed REPEAT. weekends: work, drama, school work on a sunday then back to school. did i mention drama takes up a HUGE chunk of my time? i have four lessons of drama for a levels a week, have rehearsals for the village panto tuesdays, i run year seven drama club wednesdays, i also help direct a year 8 play for their big festival, i'm the lead in a play called 'black comedy' at school which rehearse on fridays, i'm in the crucible at my drama school on saturdays, i work as a teaching assistant teaching small children how to act on saturdays, i sometimes have rehearsals for panto on sundays.... EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE POINTS TO DRAMA. and i don't know whether to be happy or embarrassed by that... anyway, because it takes up a large part of my life it's hard to have a social life and it upsets me but i have to say that all this drama adds to my monotony, i enjoy it but it does.
ANYWAY back to the post, he also said about how through your own monotony you hear about others who break their monotony together by going out and be the 'in crowd'. they drink, have sex and then spend the next week talking about it.... and i'm sick of it. so i go and do my work and end up losing more and more of my social life. hence why i've not had a lot to say on the boy front, hopefully it'll all pick up.
and now everything links to the title of the post, you see, this is real life, reality, it cannot be anything else, of course i'm like every other normal girl on the planet and would love to have that 'movie romance' that whirlwind that keeps going and  that balance of bliss and arguments that every relationship in a film finds the perfect combination between. but i'm not stupid, i'm not naive, i KNOW this doesn't exist, if it did there wouldn't need to be films made about it would it? i would say i'm a realist. i understand that relationships aren't perfect, things don't always go your way and you have to fight your own battles to get anywhere. but i don't want realism! or should that be COMPLETE realism, i want that little bit of magic (in the least lame way possible) that unexpectancy, a sudden change in fate,where my life alters every so slightly. this isn't me saying my life is awful because that would be me being melodramatic, i'm healthy, i have friends, family, i'm smart and creative, i have a job and good grades i just want a nice surprise, not having to feel like i have to work for once to break this monotony, but i think i will have to wait. i have heard good things happen to those who wait.
sorry about the moan and thanks for reading i really am....








tragic.