Okay so life has made a unexpectant turn and tbh its been quite a nice change, not gunna lie. You see here is another fact about myself, i don't mind flirting with someone but i HATE fancying someone especially the flippin' 'oooh you might like me oh you don't but do you?' time before you both come to a conclusion, its the worst part eventhough everyone says its the best. they lie! you see i've met a guy, a very nice guy (i've named him Will as i met him the day of the royal wedding, i'm so cool i know) but i am at that stage. and i don't like it.
i have been in this stage many a time and NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES OF IT, well in my life anyway.
I'll go through the story and you can see for yourself why i am in SUCH A PICKLE.
so i went to a party of a guy who i know through a friend, it turned out it was less of a party and more of a gathering but from past experiences i knew most of the people there so it's all cool.
to cut a long story short i get drunk very fast and make a bit of tit out of myself and end up talking to Will, you see, i recognised him from somewhere but in my drunken haze i had forgotten.
so we talk, i remember, we joke and create our own little private joke and things were going marvellously!
it got cold and dark so we all went inside.
and by now me and Will have been talking for awhile and we're both pretty sober he drinks my strongbow (eventhough he hates it) because i asked him too we share a glass of water its all very romantic... i kid but it was nice.
cut more stuff out and i end up wearing his jumper and lying on his shoulder while everyone is watching a film and casually he makes the move... HIS ARM IS NOW AROUND ME
happy times
BUT
then it hits me
SHIT i really need a wee!
but i can't move because if i move this might not happen again we might just sit there and nothing will happen!
so i have a little argument between my brain and my bladder and it goes as follows: "i really need a wee! but you cant get up this may not happen again just sit down and it'll go away! but i really need to! NO STAY THERE! NO I NEED TO GO TO THE LOO RIGHT NOW MY BLADDER IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!"
so i casually get up and as soon as im out of sight peg it to the loo. stupid stupid alcohol being a stupid diuretic...
so wee, fix my hair and come back, all nervous and sit down expecting the worst.
but he puts his arm back around me.
happy times
and as we were sitting on a leather sofa it was a bit slippy, you know the type so i end up lying on his chest.
now, i have to make sure he's okay with this, otherwise im just making a twat out of myself, so casually i say "if my shoulder blade is digging into your chest tell me and i'll move" but he says he's fine with it. YAY. my hands are in my lap and casually will puts his hand in mine, i start playing with his fingers and quickly he moves his hand so now its a finger clasp hand holdy thing yaaay. (sorry its really hard to explain but just try and imagine 'kay? )
so we're watching a film, laughing, whispering to each other, faces really close and it's all good,
so my dad picks me up later and i realise i didnt give him my number, dang, this could have gone somewhere but i'm sleepy and looking forward to bed and being carried along by the beauty of a successful flirt.
skip to tomorrow. (im now going to compare his behaviour to one of a boy i had the same sort of experience with a few weeks before, he's called Ben.)
So Will adds me on facebook, i had to add Ben
Will starts talking to me on facebook chat, Ben never even bothered.
so, it's looking up.
we talk and we realise that that we like the same music etc and its looking even more up, its looking VERY up in fact!
so i go for it. slip him my number via faceyb, lovely.
and now it is two weeks (tomorrow) since i met him and we have exchanged 580 plus texts in that time, conversation not always thrilling but he keeps it going, texts me first, when im busy he'll wait until the time i'm free and then text me yay! he mentioned meeting up, yay! and told me we'd like to come to prom with me, double yay! so things are looking very up on this.... hopefully.
you see the doubt has set in. firstly, things we looking very good, he saw me at the bus stop and still kept texting me so it obviously meant that he doesn't think i'm an ugly munter!
but i met up with him today at the bus stop and it wasnt very awkward but it wasnt amazing, casual banter but i was worried that he had thought better of me, stupid me, jumping to stupid conclusions.
i think it's just that it's got to the point where i just have to tell myself it isn't going to happen because it NEVER does, as i've told you before.
this always happens with me, i worry, i then decide to put myself out there and WHAM i'm put down, sad times.
but he did text me after the bus stop chat so, maybe it's all okay? but maybe he's just being polite because we're going to prom together?
and maybe i'll just die a spinster....
tragic.
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